One Door Shuts. More Open.

A slammed Door.

My role as a bar staff has closed. Who would have guessed it? Ha! I knew it. The moment the manager pulled me up because she thought I was being rude to her. I knew that I would be fired. And you know what… I don’t care. This is a scary time but not totally hopeless. Officially on the email I was let go because of Covid. However, they are desperately hiring staff because they are so understaffed so I am aware that, that isn’t true. But that is the official statement I will use when looking for another job. At first I was scared. I should have left on my own terms. Because they have literally slammed a door in my face. They can keep that door. Actually to everyone who is still working there… Good luck! I know it is crap but hang in there! You can still get away!

I was let go from employment on Monday. By email. She couldn’t even be a decent enough person to tell me I was being let go. I was emailed. I will admit that when this happened I had a little bit of a panic. I wasn’t ready to leave my job even though I wanted to leave. I didn’t have another form of employment yet. My business still wasn’t quite up and running. I had no way to make money. I had an interview booked on the wednesday morning but that still wasn’t a guarantee.

I was spiralling very quickly into a moneyless despair. This panic was also induced further by the realisation that I had expensive things that I had put on finance that were going to come out of my account every month and if there was no money in the account then I was going to be in far more financial apocalyptic hell than I was already worrying about.

It was a low point which I was quite bitterly thinking about that manager who quite literally was just firing people without any thought to how that affects the person or not actually caring. How much of a psycho do you have to be, in order to not feel any empathy for the people you have in employment?

In a weird sense could you say that is pretty similar to murder? I mean you are potentially causing someone harm. Not bodily but emotional, financially, and maybe that will crumble down to bodily harm?

I know that sounds dramatic but it is something to think about.

Anyway! That isn’t what is happening to me. Despite losing my job on Monday I have been making progress. With the business I think we have a venue to start to help begin classes again. While at the same time gained another piece of equipment so we are now portable! And my writing well… My writing has taken a little bit of a back seat purely because I don’t think I have been in the right mind set. I am working on that. And my interview on Wednesday resulted in me… Being employed! Oh yes!

More pay! Better hours! No need to spend on commute!

I felt so good. So relieved. My money worries no longer felt so unbelievably hopeless. I just felt better. My start date is at the end of the month. I’m nervous but excited! 😍

I can now relax in my living room knowing that I’m not going to collapse into financial ruin.

Which is what I am doing now! Ha!

Thank you for reading! Write to you soon! Bye!