Post-Lockdown Struggle

Hating Normal Just A Lot.

Honestly, this last week has sucked. It has been so crap I wanted a place to talk about it. This seemed like a space for me to put it so here goes. Not Thursday just gone, but the Thursday before I returned to work. Now, I signed an NDA so I can’t go into explicit details about where I specifically work. I am just a simple bar staff. Or it should be simple.

Except it isn’t.

It seems to be the centre point for the rest of the building. Anything goes wrong the supervisors from the bar are called. Any extra services is completed by the bar staff. Not only that but new management has decided to cut down on hours. They asked one of the managers of the restaurant to cut six hundred hours. When she could only cut one hundred and fifty – which resulted in the worst service rating the restaurant has ever received – they then proceeded to demean her. They also demoted her. This wonderful woman has decided to leave which is unfortunate for my place of work. And the new management has learnt nothing, they are still trying to cut down hours while adding to the work load.

Table service without any structure to it. We are literally told “Just wonder around and see if anyone wants anymore drinks”… Just wonder around? Would it not be easier to set specific tables to people? Nope, just wonder around. So while serving as many people as possible, of course many people get missed, orders pile up. Not only that but we’ve got to go get the food as well as get the drinks. Sometimes whoever is behind the bar (because we are only allowed to have ONE person behind the bar) disappears and we have to make our own drinks for our orders as well. Then you have multiple people trying to get your attention. Oh yeah and to get payment, which has been the bane of my existence. There are these special cards for people who pay to be a part of the place I work. They are expensive something I couldn’t get and I work there. Anyway, these cards aren’t working. But some of them come out without any other form of money. So, having to deal with disgruntled people on top of disgruntled people who have no patience and have waited, just makes the day even worse.

On top of this I seem to have a supervisor who doesn’t like me. She is constantly, CONSTANTLY, on my back. Like a Jack Russell hunting rats. I was actually doing fine yesterday because the weather was beautifully miserable enough to keep the huge customer numbers lower than the other days, but as soon as this supervisor came in she just made my day utterly crap. I can’t quite explain without going into specifics but I really just wanted to shout at her “Would you just fuck off!”. Obviously, I can’t do that, I don’t fancy being fired.

Every time I get home these days I am so tired that all I want to do is sleep. Forget eating. Forget reading. Forget writing. I force myself to get up to exercise because I am tired of looking at myself in the mirror and thinking ‘I hate you’ (to myself). But now I am starting to hate myself because I just can’t muster the energy to do anything these days. Work is taking over and this is supposed to be normal life returning… Screw that!

I actually enjoyed lockdown. I had time to look after myself. I didn’t have shit people talking down and at me like I was a piece of shit they had just stood on. Normal life fucking sucks.

I have got to go back to that place in a couple of hours and I am seriously considering just not going because that supervisor that likes to be a bitch every second she gets is on shift with me today until 4pm… I am there until 8pm. I really just don’t want to do that.

Customer service assistant. They call it that so no one gets angry about the idea that Customer Service Assistant is just a fancy way of calling you Customer Servant. Want my advice young people looking for work. Don’t do it! Don’t do it, I haven’t been in any customer service assistant job in which management hasn’t been just utter shits. Minimum wage to be treated less than human… yeah, wonderful.