Over the last two weeks, everything about me has been thrown quite literaly into getting my new home decorated and ready.
This has meant I haven’t read anything in two weeks. (I miss books). I haven’t written anything except for filling in bills applications (I really want to dip away from the real world, as I have encountered in this last week… real life sucks!). I haven’t exercised… or eaten well… all of that went out of the window. I just wanted our home to be ready, I wanted to be in it, and not bouncing between homes again. I have been between houses for years now. I am so ready to be in a home of my own.
Trust me when I say existing between houses is just soul destroying. For me self care was just not a thing. The only thing I thought about when I woke up every day was the list of things I have to make sure are done before I return to the house that I am sleeping in. Then the things I need to sort out in the house I’m sleeping in before I sleep. Self care was always at the bottom of every list and was always too exhausted to finally get to. There were always things that slipped and no rest for the wicked when they did slip up. At least I could sort of forgive myself if self care didn’t happen. But if I think about it… I never really forgave myself I just hated myself instead which I could accept. Mirrors were avoided. 80% of time was spent in a car or travelling in some way.
Now, that is all going to change! I am determined that (except for the dogs) I am coming first. I am going to improve myself, look after myself, and my partner (cooking meals for us). I think my new home has helped me discover I am weirdly more capable than I believed.
So much has happened in the last two weeks. Of course you all know about the pigeon. But look at my living room now! It actually looks like a living room and not a construction site. All of the things I did. Oh my god.
- Plastered the walls.
- Sanded them down until smooth.
- filled in any holes.
- removed screws.
- Sealed the plaster.
- sanded the skirting boards.
- painted the skirting boards.
- painted all the walls white.
- Double coated.
- Painted the walls in colour.
- wired the new lights in.
Most of that list I have never done before! I didn’t really expect my new home to be the test to my D.I.Y handy skills. None of these tasks were those clean jobs that once done that was it either, they would trick me into thinking I was finally done then, I will be halfway through a different long winded job and it attacks. My response “Shit”. Patch fixing jobs became my new found goal.
I have also done some quite questionable things, which if you are reading this, please! I do NOT recommend you follow any of what I am about to say next. The most awkward and fiddly job me and my partner did was fitting those new lights in the living room and dining room. Not only did we have only one step ladder which meant someones arms were screaming in pain while they were upright supporting the weight of the lights while someone else was fiddling with wires… we had no wire strippers and there was a point we technically needed them. My partner was having a hard time with the wires because they are dextorously fiddly. At one point the end of one of the wires came off… all we could see was the plastic. Now any sane person would have phoned a sparky to come deal with the situation… Not me. I decided to D.I.Y this part too and got the pair of scissors we had brought with us. The big BIG reason that this was an unbelievably stupid idea was, well… the wire that had broke was the live wire. I was going at the live wire with a pair of scissors. Yes, we turned off the electricity. My partner even double checked it, and paced uncomfortably as he watched me attack the plastic/rubbery cover of the live wire with a pair of everyday scissors, and phoned his dad trying to see if he had a pair of wire strippers. Luckily, I wasn’t too moronic in my D.I.Y electric fixing. I managed to cut a bit enough to just rip away a chunk of the protective cover to expose the copper tip. Again I would like to state that you absolutely should never do that! I just have this inability to not try and fix something when I believe someone I care about is in distress. I like to fix it and say “See, easy, everything is ok”. Even though it was a very stupid idea.
However, I am alive, and well! and Have my new Home! I am so thrilled! Getting back into the swing of being healthier and losing weight will be something I will gradually bring back.
I’m not even sure how I can express the sensation of having my own new home. I can’t even really describe it but just know better and happier things are coming!
(Not today, as Luna has been a madam today).
Thank you for reading! Please don’t repeat my stupidity! Hope you enjoy my future posts!