First steps…

I have no real gripping advice for this. The first steps to starting up any form of business, or any form of life choice that involves being self-employed… Even though that is exactly what I am, and doing. This is not to say I didn’t expect anything to be hard… Everything is hard to some level… and I didn’t just expect things to happen. I did expect these things to be hard, and things don’t just happen. But I think the hardest thing is the one thing everyone doesn’t expect unless they have already been through it, or have watched someone do it.

The ability to stop.

Even for just one day myself, and I know my partner is as well, are constantly on. We feel like we have to be, we are still in early days and we are popping with ideas and worried that if we aren’t constantly working then everything will just fall apart at the seams. So… switching off and remembering that we will be fine, for just one day, or even just a minute is horrendously difficult.

I think this should be the first thing that everyone practises for the very first step. Or at least arrange a day off in some form. I told my partner that she was banned from her phone for the whole of friday and I know she still went on it, and she still checked things she shouldn’t have. *Yes, I’m watching you!* She’ll laugh, and I’ll give her the evil eye, but I’m a hypocrite. I just about stopped for my birthday!

If time isn’t taken for us then we will burn out quickly. Because everything is so full on. Need to think about money, need to respond to any enquiries, need to make sure we are advertising, are we training enough, what are we teaching this week, is the equipment ok. And then on top of that there is life. Things going on at home. I mean I’m currently in house limbo, but things are still happening, responsibilities are still all over the place. My answer to everything or anyone right now is “Ok, I’ll sort it”. There just isn’t enough hours in the day!

I took the plunge last night to try to soothe the chaos that is currently bombarding everything. I installed two apps. One was recommended by my partner to monitor how I am sleeping. And the other is… Headspace. Yes a meditating app. Before you stop reading beyond this point – Firstly, it isn’t spiritual so there isn’t any of the ‘feel your inner spirit guide you’ No. Secondly, that isn’t a criticsm to other meditators who do meditate for the soul, and religious practises. Just I am not a believer. I love the idea of magic in stories but I don’t believe this world has it except for the magic of nature, but that can be explained and proven. This app is purely just to help cope with the literally attack on the mental senses. Last night I sat in the car for three minutes and just listened to the man on my phone with my eyes closed. I felt calmer, but that could have just been the hopes that this will work out.

So, first steps to starting this journey … I couldn’t say as it felt like everything needed to happen all at once. But I will say if you’re struggling to give yourself a whole twenty four hours of just nothing. Give yourself a minute. I’m not talking about sleep, I’m talking about a minute in the middle of a horrible day, a good day, a normal day, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing. Lie down, sit down, stand up if that is more comfortable. But just one minute a day. That’s seven minutes in a week. That’s it. See how you feel.

Stop.